Owed to Spell Cheque

By , Wednesday, 18th January, 2012

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea

It plane lee marques four my revue

Miss steaks aye ken knot sea.

 

Eye ran this poem threw it

Your sure reel glad two no

It’s vary polished in it’s weigh

My chequer tolled me sew.

 

A chequer is a bless sing

It freeze yew lodes of thyme

It helps me awl stiles two reed

 

To rite with care is quite a feet

Of witch won should be proud

Ann wee mussed dew the best wee can

Sew floors are knot aloud.

 

And now bee cause my spelling

is checked with such grate flare

Their are know faults with in my cite

Of nun eye am a wear.

 

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed to be a joule

The chequer poured o’er every word

To cheque sum spelling rule.

 

That’s why aye brake in two averse

My righting wants too pleas

Sow now ewe sea wye aye dew prays

Such soft wear for pea seas.

Punny Book Reports

By , Wednesday, 18th January, 2012

The Lion Tamer, by Claud Face

Unexpectedly, by Oliver Sudden

How to Cook Pasta, by Al Dente

Secret Meeting Places, by Ron DeVoo

Kindergarten Skills, by Tyrone Laces

The Tightrope Walker, by Betty Falls

Plumbing Basics, by Rufus Leaking

Heartbeats, by Steffi Scope

Interior Decorating, by Curt Enrod

Dull Razor, by Nick Shaving

The Accused, by Watts E. Dunn

How to Play Poker, by Delia Cards

The Open Window, by Eileen Doubt

Under Arrest, by Hank Uft

The Gardener, by Moses Lawn

How to Spot Fakes, by Artie Fishul

Breakfast Recipes, by Chris P. Bacon

The Bouncing Bullet, by Rick O’Shea

Watch the man turn to the side.

By , Friday, 13th January, 2012

Stare at this picture carefully and see if you can see him turn to the side.

English is Crazy

By , Friday, 13th January, 2012

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’ ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ..

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’

It’s easy to understand 
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UPthe leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many waysUP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things 
UP.
When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry 
UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP,

for now my time is UP,

so……..it is time to shut UP!

Now it’s UP to you what you do with this email.

Get with the times

By , Friday, 13th January, 2012

Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.

Chinese Proverb

Everyone is a Genius

By , Friday, 13th January, 2012

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Albert Einstein.

Clean-Up time with the Clean-Up Robot

By , Monday, 2nd January, 2012

HarryKindergarten does great videos for the Kindergarten classroom. This one might help you to get your Kindergarten classroom cleaned at the end of the school day.

A Fridge Magnet Gift

By , Tuesday, 13th December, 2011

For my class this year, I decided to treat them to something different for the end of year farewell. I purchased a bucket of Smencil Pencils to give to each child. Smencils are pencils, made from recycled newspaper and scented in various flavours (Bubblegum, Cinnamon, Tropical Blast, Grape, Cotton Candy, Very Berry, Black Cherry, Orange, Watermelon and Rootbeer).

I also ordered through Vistaprint some fridge magnets. On these magnets, I had printed the name of our class blog, along with the URL and a QR-Code. I hope it will remind them of the great times we had in our class this year, and encourage them to continue to drop by and take a look or leave a comment for my new class.

Mistakes in Maths

By , Wednesday, 3rd August, 2011

can be serious….

The Mighty Oak

By , Wednesday, 13th July, 2011

Don’t worry if your grades are low

And your rewards are few.

Remember that the mighty oak

Was once a nut like you.

Image Source: Shawnzrossi at Flickr

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