A School Answering Service

By , Thursday, 3rd July, 2008

This came across the fax machine at school the other day, and on some days it could be appropriate to have an automated telephone answering service that goes something like this:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2
To complain about what we do – Press 3
To swear at staff members – Press 4
To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in
your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5
If you want us to raise your child – Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8
To complain about bus transportation – Press 9
To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realise this is the real world and your child must be accountable
and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and
that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort – Hang
up and have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.

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More info about this story over at Snopes.

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