Category: Reading

English is Crazy

By , Friday, 13th January, 2012

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’ ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ..

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’

It’s easy to understand 
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UPthe leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many waysUP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things 
UP.
When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry 
UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP,

for now my time is UP,

so……..it is time to shut UP!

Now it’s UP to you what you do with this email.

An Update for Enid Blyton Books

By , Saturday, 31st July, 2010

Oh, no, this is a worry. A recent report that Enid Blyton books are to be re-written to bring them into line with modern day language usage is a shame. I enjoy reading these stories to not only my classes, but also my own children – it gives us chances to talk about the language and the words used, as well as being just plain fun!!

What do you think of the idea?

Image Source: Kevin Grimm

Gotta Keep Reading

By , Sunday, 11th July, 2010

This video was created by Ocoee Middle School in the United States (Florida) last December to promote reading. Set to the Black Eyed Peas song I Got A Feeling.

Lyrics:

Gotta Keep Reading
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good good
book to read
Ooo hoo
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good good
book to read
Pick up that book
And turn the page
You’ll never know
Just what you’ll find
Information
Or Fantasy
Drama and Art
All make you smart!
I know that you’ll have a ball
If you turn off the TV and just read them all
Just think, with a book you’ll be so entertained
OMS has the best readers in F.L.A
Fill up my mind
With non fiction
Let’s get the facts
And use them up
Collaborate
Graduate
Feed your brain
And then we’ll just keep on reading
And reading and reading and reading and reading
And reading and reading
Let’s read it some more
Reading and reading and reading, reading, reading
Keep reading and reading and reading
Gotta Keep Reading
Ooo hoo
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good good book to read
Ooo hoo
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good good book to read
I got my book!
Do you have yours?
What is the title?
And who’s it by?
Where is it set?
Maybe in Spain?
Is it fiction?
Or is it real?
Will it be happy?
Or maybe sad?
Let’s see what happens
By reading on
Open that book
And have a look
It’s an adventure
So keep on reading that book
********************************

Keep reading and reading and reading and reading
And reading and reading
Let’s read it some more
Read it and read it and read it, read it, read it
And read it and read it and read it, read it, read it, read it
Here we come, here we go we gotta read
(read, read, read)
Easy come, easy go, now we can’t stop
Fill that shelf with those books
Way to the top
Round and round
Read those books
Around the clock
Action, Sci-Fi, Humor, Adventure
Biography, Reality, Mystery and Fantasy
Read, read, read, read, read it up
What ever you like
Read those Sunshine States
Take those Reading Counts
Gotta Keep Reading
Ooo hooo
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good good book to read
Ooo hoo
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good book
Cause this book’s gonna be a good good book!
Ohh hoo..

Source: Youtube, Flash Version, MP4 Version

Happy Limerick Day

By , Tuesday, 12th May, 2009

Today is Limerick Day. It celebrates the birthday of Edward Lear (1812 – 1888). Lear made limericks popular in his 1846 publication “A Book of Nonsense

a-book-of-nonsense

What is a limerick?

A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet.

A couplet is a two-line rhymed poem and a triplet is a three-line.

What are the typical characteristics of Limericks?

  • Limericks are a funny and nonsense poem.
  • They have five lines.
  • They have a rhyme scheme of A, A, B, B, A (lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme; lines 3 and 4 rhyme).
  • The syllabification is 8, 8, 5, 5, 8.

Did you know? Limerick is also a large city in Ireland.

What a limerick is in a crunch
Is a bit like a loony’s light lunch
Though it briefly delights
It’s just four nutty bites
Swallowed down with a ludicrous punch

By Graham Lester

Other Links:

Do you have a favourite Limerick? Share it with us in the comments below.

What’s another word for Synonym?

By , Saturday, 25th April, 2009

a_synonym_tshirtCan you think of one?? I haven’t been able to. Even a search at Synonym.com brought back the result:

Sorry, I could not find synonyms for ‘synonym’

I found some websites that deal with Synonyms though:

I did also find the humourous t-shirts too, if you’re that way inclined. They’re available over at Zazzle.com

synonym_roll_tshirt

OfficeFolders theme by Themocracy