Does your teacher like you?
MOTHER: Does your teacher like you?
SON: Like me, she loves me. Just look at all those X’s on my test paper!
MOTHER: Does your teacher like you?
SON: Like me, she loves me. Just look at all those X’s on my test paper!
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’
The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly…
‘I think the man would have said – ‘Well, I’ll be damned!! A talking pig!’
The teacher had to leave the room.
This Maths teacher put a lot of effort into his April Fool’s day joke for his Maths class this year.
Source: Youtube (April Fools: Math Class Shadow) or here.
This one required much more effort than the Joke I sent out to staff at my school via email:
Hi all,
Have been asked by IT to ensure all computers are thoroughly cleaned before the end of term, by clicking on the following link:
http://tinyurl.com/2pzegg
Please do as soon as possible, only takes a few minutes and runs automatically.
If tinyurl is blocked from your location, original site is http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf or download here.
At least a number of staff found it amusing, while some thought it was serious and asked how long it had to run for.
a bit like “You Might Be in Education if…” but here goes.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael; he’s a doctor.’”
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s dead.”
Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand.
Little Jimmy stood up, alone.
Mrs. White said, “Jimmy, do you really think you’re stupid?”
“No,” Jimmy said. “But I didn’t want you standing up there alone.”
One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us.
“Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving,” I thought.
Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, “Hello. Remember me? You were my third grade teacher.”
Many of us are always seeking a pay rise, especially in these troubling economic times. This appeared in my Inbox as an answer.
I first saw this when I started teaching many years ago, and over the years have seen a few other versions. Tonight I am collecting them together. If you know of any others, add them into the comments.
Know any more??? Add them to the comments….
This came across the fax machine at school the other day, and on some days it could be appropriate to have an automated telephone answering service that goes something like this:
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2
To complain about what we do – Press 3
To swear at staff members – Press 4
To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in
your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5
If you want us to raise your child – Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8
To complain about bus transportation – Press 9
To complain about school lunches – Press 0If you realise this is the real world and your child must be accountable
and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and
that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort – Hang
up and have a nice day!If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.
More info about this story over at Snopes.
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