Jokes
You’ve Been Teaching Too Long When You…
a bit like “You Might Be in Education if…” but here goes.
You’ve Been Teaching Too Long When You…
Think that canteen chocolate bars are “real food”
Know more than five uses for milk cartons.
Sing the school song while ironing!
Think that going to the supermarket is a special trip out.
Start setting homework for yourself.
Call your Principal, ‘darling’.
Records your [...]
Some Day
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael; he’s a doctor.’”
A small voice at [...]
Jimmy’s Not Stupid
Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand.
Little Jimmy stood up, alone.
Mrs. White said, “Jimmy, do you really think you’re stupid?”
“No,” Jimmy said. “But I didn’t want you standing up there alone.”
Remember Me???
One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us.
“Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving,” I thought.
Then with a big smile, the man extended [...]
Performance Pay
Many of us are always seeking a pay rise, especially in these troubling economic times. This appeared in my Inbox as an answer.
You Might Be In Education If…
I first saw this when I started teaching many years ago, and over the years have seen a few other versions. Tonight I am collecting them together. If you know of any others, add them into the comments.
You Might Be In Education If…
You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You [...]
A School Answering Service
This came across the fax machine at school the other day, and on some days it could be appropriate to have an automated telephone answering service that goes something like this:
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen [...]
What did you teach?
Here’s a joke I came across:
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” Well, you’ll love this one……
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS Diploma, [...]
A Fatal Beating
I’ve been a bit of a fan of Rowan Atkinson for about 14 years now – I still remember making my family watch him when I was in High School.
I recently came across this video (7.5Mb) on YouTube. Rowan Atkinson is the Principal talking to a parent about his son, who received a fatal beating.
Source: [...]
Bart Simpson’s Chalkboard
Just came across this site which lets you create your own witty slogans to write on the chalkboard, just like Bart Simpson does.
Why not leave a comment to let me know what witty slogan you’d have Bart write for you?
And here’s what I got him to write.