Posts tagged: Humour

A Talking Pig

By , Sunday, 27th June, 2010

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly…

‘I think the man would have said – ‘Well, I’ll be damned!! A talking pig!’

The teacher had to leave the room.

An F for Class Participation

By , Sunday, 27th June, 2010

The problem with short arms, especially in the classroom. See the Comic here… Off The Mark

Teacher: Looks like it’ll be another F in class participation, Rex!

T-Rex: This is so unfair

Cookie Monster visits the Library

By , Saturday, 26th June, 2010

Source: YouTube

Cookie Monster visits the Library

A 3-D Report Card

By , Thursday, 24th June, 2010

So our Report Cards were handed out to the children yesterday. I wonder if any of the children tried this play on words???

See the Comic: Off The Mark

“Nice try, but no, I’m not impressed with your 3 D Report Card…”

Wrecked Angles

By , Sunday, 13th June, 2010

This comic was in NSWTF’s Education Newspaper recently.

Male Teacher: I handed out some 2D shapes to my Kindy kids. The next thing… Two kids who got rectangles are crying.

Female Teacher: How come?

Male Teacher: They both wanted angles that hadn’t been damaged!

Get the larger version.

The Meaning of Life

By , Wednesday, 19th May, 2010

An Insanity Streak comic….

Teacher: Class, today we’re very lucky to have a guru as our guest speaker. So, everyone pay attention as he’ll be revealing to us the meaning of life!!

Student: Miss, will we have homework on this?

Larger Version

Leadership???

By , Wednesday, 19th May, 2010

Whatever happened to leadership?

Larger Version

A Fabulous Grading Error

By , Tuesday, 18th May, 2010

Well, many of us are busy writing reports, and following the distribution of those will be Parent/Teacher Interviews. This comic came to me via Twitter.

Teacher: Well, Silly me! That should’ve been an A! I must’ve given your son an F by mistake because the only word on my mind was fabulous!

School Message Boards

By , Tuesday, 18th May, 2010

A friend sent this to me recently. Anyone else dare to put it up on your school notice board??

School starts Sep 4. Resistance is futile.

No Dentist Left Behind

By , Tuesday, 27th April, 2010

This parody highlights the absurdities of using National Testing to compare schools and teachers. Written by John Taylor, a now retired Superintendent of schools in Lancaster.

My dentist is great! He sends me reminders so I don’t forget checkups. He uses the latest techniques based on research. He never hurts me, and I’ve got all my teeth, so when I ran into him the other day, I was eager to see if he’d heard about the new state program. I knew he’d think it was great.

“Did you hear about the new state program to measure the effectiveness of dentists with their young patients?” I said.

“No,” he said. He didn’t seem too thrilled. “How will they do that?”

“It’s quite simple,” I said. “They will just count the number of cavities each patient has at age 10, 14 and 18 and average that to determine a dentist’s rating. Dentists will be rated as Excellent, Good, Average, Below Average and Unsatisfactory. That way parents will know which are the best dentists. It will also encourage the less effective dentists to get better,” I said. “Poor dentists who don’t improve could lose their licenses to practice in South Carolina.”

“That’s terrible,” he said.

“What? That’s not a good attitude,” I said. “Don’t you think we should try to improve children’s dental health in this state?”

“Sure I do,” he said, “but that’s not a fair way to determine who is practicing good dentistry.”

“Why not?” I said. “It makes perfect sense to me.”

“Well, it’s so obvious,” he said. “Don’t you see that dentists don’t all work with the same clientele; so much depends on things we can’t control?

“For example,” he said, “I work in a rural area with a high percentage of patients from deprived homes, while some of my colleagues work in upper-middle class neighborhoods. Many of the parents I work with don’t bring their children to see me until there is some kind of problem and I don’t get to do much preventive work.

“Also,” he said, “many of the parents I serve let their kids eat way too much candy from a young age, unlike more educated parents who understand the relationship between sugar and decay.

“To top it all off,” he added, “so many of my clients have well water which is untreated and has no fluoride in it. Do you have any idea how much difference early use of fluoride can make?”

“It sounds like you’re making excuses,” I said. I couldn’t believe my dentist would be so defensive. He does a great job.

“I am not!” he said. “My best patients are as good as anyone’s, my work is as good as anyone’s, but my average cavity count is going to be higher than a lot of other dentists because I chose to work where I am needed most.”

“Don’t get touchy,” I said.

“Touchy?” he said. His face had turned red, and from the way he was clenching and unclenching his jaws, I was afraid he was going to damage his teeth. “Try furious. In a system like this, I will end up being rated average, below average or worse.

“My more educated patients who see these ratings may believe this so-called rating actually is a measure of my ability and proficiency as a dentist. They may leave me, and I’ll be left with only the most needy patients. And my cavity average score will get even worse.

“On top of that, how will I attract good dental hygienists and other excellent dentists to my practice if it is labeled below average?”

“I think you’re over-reacting,” I said. “‘Complaining, excuse making and stonewalling won’t improve dental health ‘… I am quoting that from a leading member of the DOC,” I noted.

“What’s the DOC?” he said.

“It’s the Dental Oversight Committee,” I said, “a group made up of mostly lay-persons to make sure dentistry in this state gets improved.”

“Spare me,” he said. “I can’t believe this. Reasonable people won’t buy it,” he said hopefully.

The program sounded reasonable to me, so I asked, “How else would you measure good dentistry?”

“Come watch me work,” he said. “Observe my processes.”

“That’s too complicated and time consuming,” I said. “Cavities are the bottom line, and you can’t argue with the bottom line. It’s an absolute measure.”

“That’s what I’m afraid my patients and prospective patients will think. This can’t be happening,” he said despairingly.

“Now, now,” I said, “don’t despair. The state will help you some.”

“How?” he said.

“If you’re rated poorly, they’ll send a dentist who is rated excellent to help straighten you out,” I said brightly.

“You mean,” he said, “they will send a dentist with a wealthy clientele to show me how to work on severe juvenile dental problems with which I have probably had much more experience? Big help.”

“There you go again,” I said. “You aren’t acting professionally at all.”

“You don’t get it,” he said. “Doing this would be like grading schools and teachers on an average score on a test of children’s progress without regard to influences outside the school — the home, the community served and stuff like that. Why would they do something so unfair to dentists? No one would ever think of doing that to schools.”

I just shook my head sadly, but he had brightened. “I’m going to write my representatives and senator,” he said. “I’ll use the school analogy — surely they’ll see my point.”

He walked off with that look of hope mixed with fear and suppressed anger that I see in the mirror so often lately.

Image Source: Flickr

Article: No Dentist Left Behind

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